When I first started this account, it was to back up my blogs at Myspace. I've written so much about him, which I guess has also been about my "journey," experiences, sentiments as a result of my son's death. I wanted people to know that its is normal to be angry, normal to be sad after more than two weeks, normal to mourn.
With myself, I did not have a body to touch and say goodbye to. What remained of Jason was sealed in plastic, wrapped in linen and a uniform was pinned to that. What has made his death so much more painful has been the lack of answers, the struggle to change his Headstone, my Senators having to intervene so I could receive the Final Report. The Final Report is a group of sworn statements by those at the incident and those arriving immediately afterwards. While the IED attack was planned by Insurgents, the decision to wait 20 minutes before checking on Jason was not. I know this has to do with his beliefs, and I want answers, and Justice for my son. Jason was such a compassionate person, and I have considerable problems knowing so much time has elapsed before they decided to look into his humvee. To me, that is at least, involunteerly manslaughter.
The only way I know how to deal with the frustration, with the internal questions I have, is to write about it. Hence, I write constantly about him, constantly to the Army pleading to have another Report done.
I want answers, and I want people to know what a wonderful person he was.
We miss you Angel.