Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Jason's Earth Birthday:(

When a mother gives birth to a child, it is a day which links forever links them together. It is her true Mother's day. I have been fortunate to have three such days: June 16, April 28, and January 7th.
Today is January 7th, the day I struggled to give birth to my son Jason. He was too big for me to have, even though he weighed 5 lbs. 13 oz, a month early. He was breech, turned the wrong way, and entered this world blue due to the umblical cord wrapped around his neck. I remember screaming what was wrong as they worked to get him breathing, and then their rushing him out of the room.
I remember the day before, January 6th. I had to renew my military ID card, and I was in early labor. They made me wait 2 hours, even though I had an unhappy toddler, and was having contractions. I don't know why, but they thought it was funny to see a pregnant woman in pain. But I needed the card if I wanted to have my baby on base. Afterwards, I had to leave the commisary with James in tow, because I could not take it anymore.
And I remember January 5th, the 4th, etc. I have a remarkable memory regarding my children.
When Jason was born, the doctor, Col. Chase was so mad at me. A breech birth from an enlisted man's wife just wrecked his day. I was amazed, it was such a different experience than his brother's birth.
Then, at 11:55 am on Saturday January 7, with the doctory pulling and the nurses pushing on my stomach, Jason, Sweet Jason, emerged into this world. I didn't see him for hours later--he was blue, I had lost so much blood, but when I finally did, oh the perfection of a baby. His dark hair, military part, black eyes just melted me. He seemed too tiny to hold, even though he was only 2 ounces smaller than his older brother when he was born. He was simply perfect.
And he stayed perfect. He had his first birthday in Plattsburgh, NY. I had a home made blue smurf cake, with his first present being a Cat-in-the-Hat scooter. He loved that thing, just as he would would later love his Smurf Big Wheels, Space Shuttle Legos set, Black van, etc. He was pure little boy, a little tempermental at times, always scolding of James, always a delight.
Jason, I wish you were alive to celebrate your birthday. I wish I could make more memories with you, listen to your soft voice, hear you brag about your own child. I wish sweet Angel, I could hug you on this day.
Jason I wish I could say Happy Birthday to you, but I cannot. It does not feel right. I love you Jason, I miss you so much.Love Mom